We'll talk next episode about Philip and whether he is as horrible, horrible a person as he seems in every popular and historical English language account of him between 1580 and 1980 (Sneak preview: the answer is: Mostly!)

But for now, sit right back and enjoy reading about the various crimes of Malyuta Skuratov-Belskiy. He's basically the Gold Standard in homicidal, sadistic henchmen. Ivan took to him immediately and made him chief of the oprichniki, and the two spurred each other on to ever greater heights of human torment and wanton senseless bloodshed.

But it looks like Malyuta is Totally Over It now, so that's good, right?

- Count Dolby von Luckner