As we said before, Abe Lincoln could pretty much pull off whatever he wanted by means of a Charming Folksy Anecdote. My favorite Lincoln anecdote is from the first volume of Sandburg’s biography which is like ten whole feet away so I shall paraphrase it:
It seems Joe Collins got mighty drunk last week. His pals told him to sleep it off in the barn, but he insisted on hooking his horse up to his wagon and driving home through the forest. Of course, he was drunker than ten priests come Monday morning, and he fell asleep. As it happened, his wagon hit a stone and it spooked the horse, who slipped his traces and ran off into the woods. Course, Joe slept through the whole thing and when he woke up in the morning his eyes near drop out of his sockets as he looks around and yells, “If my name be Joe Collins, I’ve lost a horse, and if it ain’t, I’ve gained a wagon!”
It is, to my mind, the best story ever.
– Count Dolby von Luckner
http://www.ftg-comic.com/2008/03/04/index.php
In the heat of battle, there is no time to settle important semantic issues. But, BETWEEN battles, brother, that’s something different. Today we make steps towards answering the question, “Who is Greater: Peter the Great or Frederick the Great?” and manage to piss off Newton right proper in so doing. It’s Episode 107: Europeans, Egos, and Elephants, and it’s term-paper-tastic!
– Geoff and The Count
Who was Greater anyway? I’ve talked about the similarities in Peter’s and Frederick’s biographies before, but let’s run it down list-like. Both:
– Had early childhood trauma of an extreme sort.
– More or less blew off everything having to do with governing for most of their adolescence.
– Got their shit together when crises threatened to steamroll their lives of beautiful educated dawdling
– Invaded countries for no particular reason soon after gaining power
– Very nearly lost their respective wars, but ended up looking like unconquerable gods by the end
– Actively promoted religious tolerance and the importing of skilled laborers.
The main difference here is that Frederick started with Prussia, a well-run but joyless stretch of marshland, while Peter did it with Russia, a terribly-run but cannon-fodder-rich land. So, Frederick had to work with a greater efficiency than Peter in all of his ventures, simply lacking the resources Peter had at his disposal. However, at the same time, Frederick didn’t have to fight against deep-rooted superstition and downright pig-headedness to the same degree as Peter. So, Frederick had to act more efficiently, but he could pull that off as he wasn’t having to nut-punch a priest every other step to get things done. Peter couldn’t be that efficient, but really didn’t have to be.
So, in the end, They Are All Fine Monarchs.
Your Donnie Murphy Update: In Spring Training so far, in 13 at bats, Donnie Murphy is holding to a .385 batting average. The sun will soon shine on us again.
– Count Dolby von Luckner