Incompetence is funny.
“Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein” wouldn’t be the classic that it is if either Bud or Lou had a clue about what was going on. The movie would have been about five minutes long and shown in classrooms as a public service announcement for how to deal with the supernatural menace.
Costello: Hey Bud, looks like a vampire is a-risin’ out of that crate.
(Abbott turns around in time to see Dracula trying to slink back into the crate and create a humorous misunderstanding.)
Abbott: Damn if you aren’t right, Lou. And unless I miss my guess, this isn’t any vampire, this is Dracula. Well, you know what to do.
Costello: Sure do.
(Costello stakes, decapitates, and burns Dracula.)
Abbott: We better check these other crates out.
(They check out the other crates and find parts of Frankenstein’s monster in them.)
Costello: Better torch these, just to be on the safe side.
(Abbott and Costello destroy the parts of the monster.)
Wolfman: Hey fellows, I’ve got a terrible problem and I could sure use your help…
Abbott: This wouldn’t have to do with Dracula’s plot to rebuild Frankenstein’s monster, would it?
Wolfman: Well, I don’t know.
Costello: Third base, you hairy bastard!
(Costello plugs the Wolfman with six silver bullets.)
Abbott: We better hide this body and catch the next train out of town.
THE END