Today we answer the question, “How come everybody in your comic is speaking English?” The answer is that apparently they aren’t speaking English at all.
A deeper question is, “If everyone in the world spoke the same united Language, wouldn’t history have unfolded quite a bit differently?” The answer to that question is yes. History would in almost all probability be quite a bit different. Of course, the chance exists that a timeline akin to what we present in the comic could have arisen even if Noam Chomsky had the means and motive to travel back to the earliest civilizations and preserve/enforce a common Language.
It is that chance we ruthlessly exploit in our mission to craft the finest jokes about our actual history and dead puppies.
Now go bug Harry Turtledove or something.